$ 79.00

Floating somewhere in the Caribbean with a perpetual identity crisis, this heavily tanned sphere simply can’t decide if he wants to be the fifty-first American state, an independent nation, or just a very loud tropical vacation rental. He single-handedly conquered the global music charts by aggressively exporting reggaeton, ensuring that absolutely everyone on Earth has danced to his rhythm at least once without understanding a single word.

His culinary pride and joy revolves entirely around mofongo, a delightfully dense mountain of mashed plantains and garlic that guarantees you will need a massive nap immediately after consuming it. If you invite him over, be prepared for him to constantly brag about the local coquí frog, a microscopic amphibian capable of producing a shockingly loud mating call that completely prevents anyone else from sleeping.

Despite possessing stunning bioluminescent bays and centuries-old Spanish forts, his actual favorite pastime seems to be surviving terrifying seasonal hurricanes and creatively ignoring an absolutely monumental mountain of national debt. He holds a rather confusing VIP membership to the United States where he gets the passport and the currency, but conveniently misses out on the ability to actually vote for the boss making all the rules.

Adopt this wonderfully chaotic, salsa-dancing island buddy if you want someone to constantly supply you with premium rum while endlessly debating the complicated nuances of territorial tax loopholes.

You can order any custom countryball you wish, just contact us through the contact form or through email

Handmade plush toy by Anna Fortune